Making the most our time together.....

Knowing throughout this year that Seth was going to deploy, and our time was limited, we tried to make the most of all of it.

Earlier this spring we traveled down through Utah and saw the Harris clan in Cedar, and then over to California where we spent time with the Kohlers' and went to Disneyland with them. We were able to go to Lagoon this summer with the Severes' and then went on hikes and huckleberry picking with the Bjornns'. They boys went on hikes with Seth and Seth and I were able to go see friends and a show up in West to the Playmill. It was good times and I am so glad that we were able to make some really great memories. We are looking forward to doing all of it again in a year, when Seth comes back home to us.

Seth's deployment

So yes, Seth has deployed. At this point in time, it is a bit redundant information, but am blogging about it anyway.

A week ago Tuesday, September 21, 2010, Seth officially began his deployment to Iraq, by getting on a plane, leaving us in tears and waving goodbye. We woke up at 5:00 a.m. and drove to Idaho Falls airport. The streets were lined with American flags and yellow ribbons. There had to have been at least 4 blocks of them. It was very emotional as we watched, not just Seth, but other friends and their families being separated, they said goodbyes and boarded the plane. The airplane hanger where we waited and the soldiers checked in was packed and a bit chaotic. It was surreal. Though we had been preparing for that day for more than a year, it always felt like it was still a couple of weeks or at least days away. Mom and dad were there, as well as Seth's dad. We waited and watched till we couldn't see the plane in the air anymore. Then there was nothing left to do, but go home and try and maintain as normal a life as we could knowing what we did; that Seth and so many others were gone. At war.

The concept that this isn't just another drill weekend, or training he has gone to hits at funny times. Like when I am doing laundry and storing clothes away, rather than trying to get them washed and ironed for a regular work day when the weekend is over. It's getting texts, or phone calls I know won't last too much longer (As we don't really have an international calling plan)

But all in all, we are holding up alright. We pray a lot. Read scriptures a lot. And the love and support by so many family and friends is priceless. We couldn't do it without all you. And we don't! Your love and prayers are felt daily. Thank you for your continued concern and support. It really has made things far more bearable. It is still the beginning. We pray for a speedy end.

And then we will all celebrate at Disneyland. :)

My Apologies.....

Alright. I am going to take this time to apologize to the woman I told off today, and all of the witnesses in Albertsons. I will explain:

I was at the said store today to purchase some produce with my children in tow. I was trying to make it quick, with a promise of a pack of gum purchase as a reward for well behaved children. As I was at the self check out, both boys earned the coveted reward of selecting, and even scanning their little purchases. I was scanning my own items "with help" and trying to keep order so that the scanner knew which bar code to read and that Calvin's weight on the bagging scale was not actually anything I was lifting from the store, the chaos intensified as Calvin grew ever more frustrated that his pack of gum would not scan. Helping him, was the wrong move. I manipulated his hand around the pack of gum so his hand was not obscuring the bar code and could be read. He had a melt down.

Now in the wake of Seth's departure just 9 days earlier, and being overly tired, all emotions were running high. He flailed, and lashed out at me. I dodged and he tripped and fell.

Now my melt-down begins.

I picked him up and was focusing all my energies on maintaining what little cool I could. I zoned in on keeping my very tired emotions in check, I sat Calvin on the floor in front of the scanner in a "time-out."

He wailed louder.

I was attempting to find the produce number for the pineapple, (all of which came up "item unknown") and growing aware that we were drawing many looks, including that of the supervisor of the self checkout, though he made no move to assist me with the number for the pineapple. Calvin was screaming "DON'T LEAVE ME MOMMY!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" despite my reassurances that I would not leave him, I loved him and was not going to leave him.

Now those of you that know me......well or just casually, know that I have a voice that carries like a foghorn on a ship in distress........I like to think that I just have really good projection, from "years of theatre training"......*ahem* so in spite of my attempt, and even feeling like, I was keeping my voice to a minimum, I have no doubt that I could be heard on the opposite end of the store.

At this moment, I noticed a woman, who gave me a very disgruntled look, and a "Pff!! Oh my gosh!"

To which I replied, "You know, my husband just left for deployment, and my children and I are still feeling the emotional effects from saying good-bye, so if the peanut gallery has some suggestions for me that doesn't include criticism or judgement, I'm all ears!"

Then the self-checkout attendant quickly put in the pineapple number, saving the store from anymore embarrassment, I paid, and departed. (with both children I will add.)

Now I am ashamed of 2 things here:

1. That I lost it that much and was so focused on my own frustration, I could have been telling off my best friend or mother, and not realized it, I was so blinded. And

2. I was so vindictive, I used Seth's leaving as an excuse to take my frustrations out on another. (No matter how justified I may have felt.....or perhaps still do)

So my apologies to that woman, and any other innocent by standers there may have been. Too bad I don't have pictures to add for this one......